Thoughts For Young Ministers With Older Elders

Introduction

As I lifted my hands, scanned the room, and gave my first benediction, the realization that I really was a pastor now hit me like a ton of bricks. From now on it was my job to “shepherd the flock of God… exercising oversight…not domineering over those in [my] charge, but being [an] example[ ] to the flock” (1 Pet. 5:2-3). But this responsibility wasn’t mine alone. My calling was to shoulder this load alongside a group of godly men, all of whom were my parents age or older. 

So there we were, one newly minted teaching elder and four ruling elders all sixty-plus, navigating not only the ordinary challenges of church life but, in time, a global pandemic. We had our work cut out for us.

In being called to lead such a session and at such a time, the question that I kept coming back to was—How do I reconcile Paul’s exhortation in 1 Timothy 5:1, “Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father” with his exhortation in 1 Timothy 4:12 “Let no one despise you for your youth”? How was I, a young man, to show deference to the older men on my session and lead them? 

In writing on this subject, I make no claims to having struck this balance perfectly. I’m still learning as I go. Nevertheless, I have learned several lessons along the way that I hope will prove helpful to those who are called to labor in situations like mine. Here are a few. 

 

Lesson 1: Curb Your Visionary Enthusiasm

Not to be a pedant, but I’ve always been reluctant to talk about “vision” with the members of my session. Not because I think it is a mark of higher spirituality for church leaders to be aimless and disorganized and nor because the word is often upon the lips of entrepreneurs and CEOs (though I know and love a few). My hesitancy comes from hearing of more than one zealous minster who got sideways with his session for foisting his own vision upon the church without really involving his elders. A plan was made, but without the wisdom that comes from consulting a multitude of counselors first. 

The other difficulty with setting vision is that it’s a finicky business. How often should a church pop the hood and service its vision statement? Every three years? Five years? Thirty years? Never? What happens when a church calls a new pastor? Should he feel obligated to execute the vision of his predecessor or should he be given the freedom to take the church in a new direction? And, if he is given that freedom, doesn’t that at least give the impression that the brand new pastor’s vision carries more weight than the collective wisdom of the elders who have served that congregation for years?

For the sake of your elders and the members of your congregation who are likely suffering from double, triple, maybe even quadruple vision at this point, keep things as simple as possible. Plagiarize. Simply copy and paste the divinely-inspired vision statement of Matthew 28:19-20, “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to obey all that I have commanded you” or Paul’s 20/20 vision in Acts 20:20, “I did not shrink from declaring to you anything that was profitable, and teaching you in public and from house to house…” and call it a day. 

Lord willing, everyone on your session can get behind a modest proposal like that. The simple means of grace—Word, sacrament, and prayer are enough. Man-made vision statements will come and go, but God’s purposes for his church will stand forever. Be not overly ambitious. Stick with what God has promised to bless and trust him with the results.

 

Lesson 2: You Cannot and Need Not Fix Everything

Not all that annoys is sin. Though, in the moment, they may feel the same, in reality there is a world of difference between something being contrary to the Word of God and something simply rubbing you the wrong way. 

Knowing the difference has helped me to distinguish matters of primary importance, things I need to address at some point in the future, from matters of secondary or non-importance that I can afford to sit back and wait on, or, let them fall to the wayside. More often than not, the thing that needs to change most is not the thing that irks me, but my own heart. The typos in the bulletin, the woman who sings off key, and the ruling elder’s long-winded prayer should not, in fact they must not, consume your pastoral energies as much as the condition of your people’s souls. As one of my ministry friends said, “There are nuts in every cookie.” Embrace the nuttiness in your congregation. Love your people for who they are, not what you’d like them to be.

Another reason to distinguish mere annoyances from sin is so that you can invest your decision-making capital more effectively. Whenever our session arrives at a decision point, whether great or small, I typically chime in and say something like, “At some point, we’re going to make a decision that makes people mad. Let’s make sure it counts.” Be willing to flex on subjective matters or matters of opinion so that, when the time comes for you to make an unpopular decision, you can point to God’s Word and have “Thus sayeth the Lord” confidence in your chosen course of action. Reduce the number of decision points you and your leadership need to make and focus your energies on the objective.

 

Lesson 3: Equip and Encourage Your Elders

Avoid being a professional fault finder. I don’t enjoy spending time with people who are overly-critical of me, and I expect your ruling elders feel the same. One of the reasons that I think many teaching elders report that they feel burnt out and beat down by their sessions is because they haven’t done enough to equip and encourage their fellow elders to serve alongside them. 

—“They never do any home visitation. All the shepherding falls on me.” 

—“Have you ever taken them on a shepherding visit with you? Invite one to come with you next time you go.”

 

—“My elders don’t know the first thing about leading in worship.” 

—“Have you taught them? Maybe you could read through a book on leading in worship as a session.”

 

—“My elders aren’t involved in presbytery. They refuse to come to GA.”

—“Have you asked them to come? And if they’ve come, have you made yourself available to them and explained what’s going on? Or did you disappear and catch up with your seminary buddies instead?”

I don’t know of one healthy relationship that was built upon a foundation of criticism and rebuke. If you want to build good report with your ruling elders then “encourage [them] as you would a father” (1 Tim 5:1). Give thanks for their strengths and cover over their weakness in love, just as you do with your own father. He’s not perfect, and yet you love him. The same should go for your ruling elders. They need not be perfect to be worthy of your respect.

Where elders are strong, deploy them in those areas. Where they are weak, be patient and offer encouragement wherever you can. Don’t feel the need to correct every single mistake. If something becomes a pattern, address it then. But until that time, show your elders what to do and avoid drawing attention to what they haven’t done well.  

The easiest way I’ve found to be patient with others is to remember how patient they’ve been with me. Sometimes I go back and listen to old sermons and man, is it painful! But you know who sat through all of those sermons, rough as they were, and still encouraged me all the while? My ruling elders. How can I not extend the same patience and grace toward them that they extended to me? In this, my elders point me to the love of Jesus, to him who loves and encourages me as I continually grow in my sanctification. 

So, in short—Be modest, be humble, be realistic, and be thankful for the men that God has given you.