Dear Pastor: I’m becoming more and more frustrated in my pursuit of holiness. It seems as if the more I want to follow Christ the more I see the depths of my sin. I think I’m growing but I also feel like I’m more sinful. Am I backsliding? Or is this normal?
Thank you for sending this. It is an excellent question. You are not alone in wondering this. I have been asked this question many times before, and I’ve often asked myself the question throughout the years of my Christian life. Thankfully, the Bible gives us clear teaching on this and our Westminster Standards speak to it with clarity as well.
Feeling a greater sense of sin is often something that accompanies greater sanctification. Have you ever sat in a room that you thought was clean, only to see that the air is filled with dust as the sunlight comes in directly through the windows? Our lives can be that way. The more we expose our hearts to the light of God’s word, the more we see the darkness and dirt in our own lives. The more we see Christ, the more our own failures are exposed.
The struggle with the sin that remains will be an ongoing, lifelong battle. Our confession speaks of this struggle as “…a continual and irreconcilable war, the flesh lusting agains the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh” (WCF XIII:2). The apostle Paul speaks about this irreconcilable war vividly in Romans 7, when he writes, “For I do not do the good that I want, but the evil I want is what I keep on doing” (Rom 7:19). The apostle John writes, “If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us” (1 John 1:8).
We must never turn a blind eye to sin, and must never give it quarter. While the Bible is clear about our ongoing war with sin in this life, it is equally clear that growing in godliness and good works is non-negotiable for Christians. Our confession again reminds us: “These good works, done in obedience to God’s commandments, are the fruits and evidences of a true and lively faith” (WCF XV: 2). In other words, growing in godliness and goodness is a demonstration of our right standing with God. This includes increasingly repenting and turning away from sin in all its forms — thoughts, words, and actions. Because we have been united to Christ in salvation, the Bible commands: “Do not present your members to sin as instruments of unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life and your members to God as instruments of righteousness” (Rom 6:13).
For those truly born again by the Holy Spirit, there is every expectation and hope of growth in the Christian life. This is a work of God, but it involves effort on the part of Christians (1 Thess. 4:1–3; Gal. 5:17). This struggle is not hopeless — just the opposite: The Bible teaches that God’s seed is planted in us; Christ’s power is at work transforming us; and the One who began a good work will complete it (1 John 3:9; 2 Cor. 3:18; Phil. 1:6).
This is a profound encouragement. God will one day transform us fully.
This reminds me of my favorite part of our Larger Catechism, Question 90, which asks: “What shall be done to the righteous at the day of judgment?” The answer, which I’ll quote in part, is glorious:
At the day of judgment, the righteous, being caught up to Christ in the clouds, shall be set on his right hand, and there openly acknowledged and acquitted…shall be received into heaven, where they shall be fully and forever freed from all sin and misery, filled with inconceivable joys, made perfectly holy and happy in body and soul…” (WLC 90).
In the meantime, it is vital for us to remain sensitive to sin. God’s work in sanctifying us is one of the ways in which we can remain assured of his saving work in our lives. This is why, in 2 Peter, we are told to continue to work hard to grow spiritually: “make every effort to supplement your faith…” and, “…be all the more diligent to confirm your calling and election, for if you practice these qualities, you will never fall” (2 Peter 1:5, 10).
Continue to check yourself. Be vigorous in your fight against sin. If there is a repeated, habitual, disobedience to the things of the Lord, be warned. If you cannot look back on the last years and say, “I am not what I once was,” then something is indeed seriously wrong. Flee to Christ for mercy.
But if you are finding that your desire to follow Christ is growing, and, along with it, your understanding of your own sin, then recognize that your very awareness of your own need is meant to drive you deeper into the arms of your faithful Savior and Shepherd — the Holy one of God — the Lord Jesus Christ.
